On How I Find Myself (#7)

"You believe in visions and prayers, but you don't believe in what's really there."

-"Golden Girls," Devendra Banhart

In my life, I have always believed in "what's really there," instead of the aforementioned above.  

I am finding myself believing in "what's really there" even more than I expected.

I am not thinking about what is happening and just letting life tumble me toward my happy demise.  "Happy" because if I live a full life, death will feel like that... I think.

The entry gets deep quick.

I cannot describe how it feels to abandon analysis except that it leaves me speechless.  There are a lot more silences in my speech and thought and I adore it that way.

Let me start with today.  

Today I helped organize a Hawaiian luau for my school.  So I looked like a ridiculous, mal-adorned Barbie doll. Those who know me understand the importance of the below "portrait."

This is what the immigration process to Hawaii looks like.  The visitors lack confidence and take a long time to answer questions.  They are 6 years old.

Also equally important are the animatronic, malnourished polar bears that populate Hawaii.  My new best friend here in Korea has labeled them "malnourished," and I whole-heartedly embrace his criticism.  Why are they malnourished?  Furthermore, why are they polar bears?

The weekend prior, I celebrated Buddha's birthday by visiting Gyeongju.  

Gyeongju was the former Korean capital during the Silla Dynasty.  Among the more amazing sights were the oldest observatory in Asia, dating back to ~600A.D. and an immaculate temple-fortress in the mountains.  But what captured my heart was Gyeongju's isolated, mountainous location and serene beauty.  

Below is a completely un-spactacular photo of what it feels like to wander in the streets during the day.  

The sun is hot, the conversation is simple, and the mood is just right.  

Like the middle porridge in Goldilocks' tragedy with the bears.  Yes, I do like that bowl of porridge.

I proceeded by taking a slew of laundry-line photos on somebody else's camera. They were completely ordinary, but to me simple and beautiful.  You see everything in a different light when you are happy.  

Even dirty laundry.

This was followed by my first time backpacking in Korea:  I even had hiking boots with ankle support and a professional-grade backpack.  This prevents me from falling too quickly... whether it be 'down' or 'through' or 'in love' or whatever kind of falling I am doing.

We ended up setting up camp on the beach in Pohang, where we attempted to stargaze.  Like Los Angeles, the Korean air prevented us from seeing our celestial buddies.  The relaxation was more in the imagination.  

The Korean coast is simple and wooded and right for my temperament. 

This past weekend I went to Muuido Island with the hiking club, but I decided to stay overnight for my 2nd backpacking excursion in Korea.  Backpacking is an entryway into a different world altogether.  With the MERS virus circulating around my province, an escape was a good out.  Even when weighing the cons of coming into contact with a lot of people during travel.  The majority of the schools in my area are completely shut down for next 12 days.

So, do you worry?

No, you put on the mask and you go on vacation.

Muuido is located about 1/2 hour from Incheon airport by bus/ferry, and is reason for Seoulites to feel like they have a secret from the rest of the world.  

It is a peppering of islands, some of which you can actually walk to when the tide is low.

I could live there.

The most miraculous part of this place is that the tides come in and go out drastically.  It is like the best part of  mood swings.  I only wish those left such ravishing beauty.

In the morning, I woke up with water underneath my head in the tent and had to move it further away.  Six hours later, that same water was 1-2 miles away from me.  We walked there to touch the actual coast and then sat in the warm puddles.  

The moment below was one of the happiest slivers of my stay here in Korea.  

Looking at the two photos, you can also see the tidal difference.  

The planet has such an uncanny ability to change.  It is doing more so now that it has a fever, but in its most natural state the ups and downs are quite informative as to how we should be living.

The natural ability to change.

All you can do is think about your own ability to do the same.

Learning to transform into a Korean beach,

Sabina Student 

Photo courtesy of Lamer Morales

Photos courtesy of Lamer Morales